Good Good Life

Knowing that God loves me and has accepted me the way I am, has changed my life. There are two other things that I’ve learnt in life and I’m sharing them all with you, so you can be living a better life today.

Last week I shared with you a bit of my life story. The most important message from that post is the fact that life isn’t always the way we’d imagined it to be; but there are a few more things I would like to add to that. They’re three things to know about life – I’ve learnt them over the last 10 years and I wish I knew them earlier in life. I want to share them with you today so hopefully you don’t need to waste your time and can make the most of your life right now.

To continue the theme from the first post, “If I told you my story, you would hear of…”

Love and acceptance

When I became a Christian, the first thing that changed was the fact that I finally felt accepted the way I was. It was something I’d struggled with most of my life, so when I learnt that God loved me the way I was, it was a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. I didn’t feel anymore the pressure to please anyone or to perform in order for them to accept me. I felt loved exactly the way I was.

Before becoming a Christian, I felt I needed to do something to be liked. I thought no one would like me just for who I was, so I was paying much attention to how I looked (and I never was pleased with it) and what did people think about me etc.

At primary school, people called me a swot and I felt an outsider. In secondary school, they bullied me. It was a bit better at high school but I had still struggled to find my identity and desperately tried to fit in.

One year at primary school no one came to my birthday party. I felt ignored, lonely and not enough to be important. I promised myself not to be hurt by people, so I’d tried to become tough and self-sufficient.

It’s who you are not what you do

I practised speed skating for 10 years at a competitive level. In sport, if you don’t win or at least perform well, no one appreciates you. Sport has helped me build my character but also made me feel unaccepted at times I didn’t perform well enough. It wasn’t balanced with any positive encouragement, so for a young woman like me the result was low self-esteem.

I think that most of the things I’ve struggled with in life came as a result of not being accepted as a child and in my teenage years. Things like being serious and not having the distance to myself, struggling with how I looked, finding security and identity in doing and in work, and not investing enough in relationships with people.

Life transforming experience

When I became Christian things have changed. Over the years I’ve understood that it’s God who decides whether I’m worthy and accepted and not people. My value has been decided at creation and not by any of my actions, place of birth, upbringing or a job.

There are still times when I look somewhere else to see who I am but on most of the days, I first go to God and let him tell me who and whose I am. And it’s absolutely transformed my life. I feel better about myself – not better than others but better than I used to. And this is really how we should normally feel because it’s God who created us and redeemed us, not the world. He’s the one who decides of our value, purpose and meaning.

The world is trying to have a say about who we should be but all it can say are lies. I’ve found these words from Freedom in Christ course incredibly helpful:

“The world tells us we must perform well and accomplish certain things in order to be significant. Yet as a child of God, you are already as significant as you could possibly be. Before you were even created, God chose you to be His, and appointed you to make an eternal difference. You cannot get more significant than being hand-picked by the Author of all creation!”

Freedom in Christ course app

Be who you are

Whenever I struggle with feeling significant I go back to the first days of being a newborn believer at 23, and still remember that sense of peace and love flowing through my body knowing that God has accepted me a long time ago.

I encourage every person who reads this to think where does love and acceptance comes from in their own life. It’s not worth pursuing what others say is the criteria for being loved and accepted. In His kingdom being loved and accepted is based on nothing else than being who you are.

Peace

I used to worry about the way I looked, what people thought, what I’m doing, what I’m eating and probably used to worry that I was worrying too much.

I still worry – about health, the future and whether I’m doing the right thing in life. But I don’t worry by myself anymore – I always bring my worries to God.

You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you!

Isaiah 26:3 (NLT)

Before becoming a Christian I thought I needed to take care of everything myself. Besides, I thought I had to work hard to make sure that things happen the way I wanted them to. Now I know I’m not in charge.

Things may not work out the way I want them to but whatever I’m going through, I know God is besides me. He’ll advise me and lead me and I can 100% rely on Him. I don’t have to get angry and fight for myself because he’ll fight for me. That brings me so much peace.

I would like everyone to have this assurance in their life, so they can rest in His presence and put more effort into prayer than worrying. This is one of the things to know about life

He’s got a plan

Looking back at my life I know that God will make a way and He’s got a plan. Now, I know that the best thing to do with any problem or worry is to go to God. I love looking at a problem with Him, be it in prayer or simply sitting in quietness. He’s such a good advisor. He’s never let me down and anything looks so different when God is in it.

Whatever is going to happen, it will be ok. I want you to know that life doesn’t always turn out to be what we thought it would but that’s ok. Be joyful and thankful to God in happy times and, with His help and grace, go through the tough ones.

I look with hope and peace in the future. I may not be able to do certain things today but I know they’re temporarily withheld from me for a reason. There’s a lesson for me to learn. I know that whatever I’m supposed to do or be, I’ll do it or be that way in just the right time.

My parents, even though they didn’t go to church themselves, sent me to a Catholic primary school. If they didn’t I might’ve not searched for God at all. Instead, from an early age I was aware of God’s existence and, even if the image of God I’ve received at the school, wasn’t exactly the way God is, it made me seek God throughout my life.

Things to know about life

These are the things I’ve learnt and they make my life good. I wouldn’t know all of them if it wasn’t for the relationship with Jesus and his insight, prayer and listening to him. My prayer is for everyone to experience the same and that’s one of the reasons I write this blog. To share the experience and support each other in our lives.

I want both of these posts to be an encouragement to all of you. I also would like to encourage you to share your story with others – whether through day-to-day conversations or via this blog. If you would like to tell your story to the wider public, don’t hesitate to contact me to discuss writing a piece for Good Good Life. No life story is too insignificant to be shared!

If I told you my real-life story… you would hear that my life hasn’t worked out the way I wanted it to but I’m glad it hasn’t. If that’s the same for you, keep reading to find encouragement and inspiration.

It’s ttime to share my real-life story with you.

At the beginning of September I gave birth to our second child. We’re now a family of four living in a village in South East England. Most of our days consist of routine things – getting ready, going to work, cooking, cleaning and going to sleep. We don’t go out very often and spend most of the evenings at home. We go to a local Methodist church.

While I’m not on maternity leave, I work full time in a charity; my husband works full time for a water company. We live in a 2-bed house with a mortgage. Our older daughter has just started school. As lovely as she is, taking care of her requires us to have a lot of energy and patience. We have to do a school run, weekly shop and other real life chores that some might call boring. We don’t often get time for ourselves or for each other. Life is difficult at times and this is not what I thought my life would look like 10 years ago.

10 years ago…

In 2009 I was 22 and lived in Warsaw, the capital city of Poland. I also grew up there. I liked the big city life and all that comes with it. If you mentioned living in a village then, I would say ‘never’. I’d also never planned to buy a house because I thought it was too much of a commitment. I wanted to be in a relationship but not necessarily married. Having children was an abstract idea to me, so I didn’t even know whether I’d wanted them or not.

I was at uni studying journalism. Later that year I began a second faculty – African Studies. Apart from studying, I worked as a freelance journalist. I wrote for various magazines – about business, media and marketing, social and faith issues. I loved what I was doing even though it was hard work. Through my work, I met a lot of interesting people – businessmen and women, celebrities, people from marketing agencies. I attended press-only events. I enjoyed all of that.

But it wasn’t a bed of roses. I was living independently from my parents, so I had to make my own living. To keep up with work and studies, and to earn enough money, I had to often stay up until 2-3 am. I’ll never forget writing my dissertation until 4 or 5 am, sleeping for a few hours and starting back again around 10 or 11 am.

My dream was to write reportages and real-life stories. I wanted to write about Africa or social issues, travel, attend events, meet with friends and have a varied life. I liked being busy but I’m glad I’m not living that life anymore.

God has made a difference in my real-life story

Sometimes, I miss certain things from those times but not that much that I would trade them for what I’ve got now. I’m really happy where I am and I think that in today’s world it’s a privilege to say that.

It’s only on the surface that real life doesn’t match my ‘dream’. Underneath, it’s actually better than I could’ve ever planned.

10 years ago, in my search for approval, I was chasing after the next big thing. I was often in a rush, got angry when things didn’t go my way, was insecure and found identity in my work. I didn’t really know where I was heading and I tried to please others to win their acceptance. Most importantly, I didn’t know the real living God, power of faith and I didn’t have the hope I do now. It’s He who has made the difference.

Then and now

In my present life, I get tired. My children, especially the older one, sometimes annoy me and I worry about bringing them up and doing things right. But I know that God is the one who holds the future. I can pray for my children knowing that they’re even more important to Him than they are to me.

I get upset that I cannot always do what I like. But doing what’s right and what God wants me to do brings me much more peace, joy and satisfaction than following my feelings and desires.

My husband isn’t always the way I’d imagined my husband to be. He certainly doesn’t bring me flowers as often as I would like him to. But I know he loves me and is committed to our marriage. This means more than flowers and romance we know from movies.

Thanks to God’s grace I learn to love him the way he is every single day. I also know that we’re only two imperfect humans trying to figure life out.

I don’t always sleep well but despite the tiredness, I wake up at peace because I know that it is God who gives me strength. He’ll help me to be patient and kind even with little sleep. It doesn’t mean that a good night sleep or a nap isn’t important but on the days without them, I’m able to keep things together because I know what really fuels me.

But… makes a difference

I rarely go out in the evenings and don’t attend most of the events I would like. But I love having friends for dinner, going to a Bible study or other faith-based events. The friendships I’ve built through these are worth so much more than any fleeting relationship with people high up. They don’t remember you the day after you spoke. We’re surrounded by wonderful people and evenings at home with family are a blessing.

I don’t write for living but have this blog and I can write whatever I want

I also write things for amazing organisations, like the Evangelical Alliance. There are also other creative things I make and they bring me a lot of joy and satisfaction.
I work in an office job but I know that the work I do matters and makes a difference. My work still gives me a lot of flexibility with my hours and I work for an amazing organisation in an office that I’ve always dreamt of.

I don’t travel often and a lot – in fact, last time we went on holidays was more than 4 years ago. But I love discovering places closer to home and I’m still as curious about what’s around the corner as I was at 22.
I may not have the time to bring all my ideas to life but I’m glad I have still got plenty of them in my mind and with God’s grace they will become reality one day.

Finding peace in real-life story

In my life ‘have to’ happens more often than ‘want to’ but I find so much excitement in the everyday stuff – helping my girls to grow, providing my family with healthy food and sharing this food together. I find pleasure in ordinary life and I think we should praise it more often. It would prevent so many mental health problems because people wouldn’t feel a pressure to live unrealistic lives and they would be satisfied with whatever they’ve got.

10 years ago I wouldn’t say I was satisfied. I was chasing after something that I couldn’t even name. Now I know it was the significance, acceptance and love that can only be fulfilled through knowing the One who made me and choosing to walk with Him every step of my way.

With God-given humility, I’m not afraid to admit that life isn’t quite what I expected but it still is absolutely fantastic. It’s Jesus who makes the difference. He’s given me love and acceptance, peace, joy and satisfaction and through different experiences taught me so much more than anything or anyone else could.

God is with you

I’m being honest and open in telling you this because wherever you are in life, whether at 22, dreaming of what is to come, at 32, being disappointed that it hasn’t turned out as you wanted it to or at 42, still trying to figure out how to live this life, I want to tell you that God is watching over you and He’s got a plan.

Whatever is going to happen, it will be ok. I want you to know that life doesn’t always turn out to be what we thought it would but that’s ok. Be joyful and thankful to God in happy times and, with His help and grace, go through the tough ones.

Whether life brings you to a big city or a small village, whether you’re in a job of your dreams or one that you would not even want to dream of in the night, rest assured that He is with you. God doesn’t change because of location, profession or anything else. He’ll always love you and will never leave you. If you only rely on Him, he’ll bring joy and satisfaction even in the places farthest from your dream life. If you’re standing before a decision in your life and don’t know what to do, remember whichever way you’ll go he’ll be with you.

Inspiration

I was inspired to write this post about my story by Big Daddy Weave’s song “My Story”. To sing along with him – “If I told you my story, you would hear…” that God is present in every circumstance. Cling to Him no matter what and you’ll get through different things and will live your life to the fullest.

This is first part of my story. If you’ve found it interesting, come back later this week to find out more of what I’ve gone through and how has God used it.