Where has all that time gone?

Everyone complains about the passing time but is there anything that we can actually do about it?

Time flies.

Cliché. But true. And not an easy cliché to process.

A friend of mine recently posted on social media a photo depicting ‘rushing’ – a blurred photo of nothing. It was accompanied by a post about her daughter graduating from secondary school and how quickly that came about.

I met that friend when her daughter was in year 5 or 6. That’s probably 6 years ago. It feels like yesterday. I’m not sure where the time in between had gone.

I’ve been in the UK for nearly 11 years. It doesn’t feel that long. My children are nearly 4 and 8 and I feel like they were born yesterday.

Those years passed in a blink of an eye.

There’s one blog I’ve been reading for a long time. I’ve realised it’s been around 12 years since I’ve discovered it. When I first started Kirsten’s youngest child was 5 or 6 and now she’s 18…

Another birthday comes and go. We’ve just celebrated Christmas and we’re already ¾ through the following year. Summer comes and goes.

I could go on and on with examples like these and you probably have got your own. The truth is that time goes faster than we would like it to. And another truth is: we cannot stop it.

We have no power over time.

“Time passes whether I stand still or move.”
Poet and professor Anne Barngrover; source: On Maps, (AGNI 97)

When we think about it, it makes us sad, nostalgic, old, aware of the passing time, regretful etc. But it can also be motivating. Depends how you look at it.

Can we do anything about? Not about passing time but we can change how we look at time and how we feel about it.

I don’t have a perfect solution because one probably doesn’t exist, but I’ve got some thoughts to share that are helping me and I hope will help you too.

1.We’re mortals

Let’s face it, we often think that we’ll live forever. It’s only when we get older and frail that we start feeling that the end is near.

These days, our life expectancy is longer than even a few decades ago. 50 is the new 30 and people live a full life in their 60s, 70s, 80s, phew even in their 90s and 100s. And that’s great, but that doesn’t mean that we’ll live forever.

I listened to a really helpful webinar a few months ago entitled “Time management for mortals” by Oliver Burkeman. He has written a book under the same title and highly recommend you to read it. Here’s what he said in the webinar:

“We’ve got infinite options of what we could meaningfully do with our time but we’re finite creatures.”

We cannot keep cramming things into our schedules hoping that we’ll be able to do everything. And we need to realise and remember that one day our strength won’t be as strong and our mind won’t be as sharp, and our bodies as they’re today will die, but…

2. There’s eternity to come

If we are followers of Jesus, we know that this life is only a fraction of what we’ll experience after we die. As the famous preaching says: “It’s Friday, but Sunday is coming.” To paraphrase it: “The day of dying is her, but the eternity is around the corner.” We’ve got bright future to look towards.

The eternity isn’t some vague void – it’s a real life to come. I won’t attempt to be theological because I’m not, but when you’ve got a moment, listen to this amazing preaching from the church I attend – the Reading Family Church. Best preaching on eternity and what it means I’ve ever heard.

3. Being not doing

I try to make the most of my hours, days, weeks, months and years. I have learnt a lot over those years. I’ve experienced lots of amazing things, but it doesn’t change the fact that time goes really quickly. I’ve ‘just’ celebrated my 30th birthday and now I’m closer to 40 than to 30. How can this be 😮 What I have learnt recently though is that I’ve been trying to make meaning of those hours, days, months and years by doing as many things as I can, it is not about ticking boxes on our to-do list that ‘slows’ the passing time. It is being in the moment, not rushing the time (sic!) to do the next thing, but slowly taking in the events, the atmosphere and the people of the moment that helps us to experience life in ALL its fulness.

Here’s another quote from Oliver Burkeman’s webinar:

“Our desire to fit infinite into finite makes us even more frustrated, stressed and enjoying our life and work life less. Stop beating yourself up for something that is impossible – fitting too much into too little.

You’re always making tough choices, letting go of things, you have to let go of certain goals to allow for others, you have to disappoint some people to make space for relationships with others. And it kind of sucks. It is to see this fact to have to give up this very comforting illusion that there might be a day when you will actually be able to do everything and can be in control of everything. But it actually is a liberating process to do. The day when you have nothing to do will never come and you can relax and enjoy the life you’ve got right now. And pour your time and attention to the things that really count.”

God invites us to “Be still and know that He is God”, so why it’s so hard for us to do it? Slow down. The world will not end just because you haven’t done something, but your life will certainly be better because you took time to live the moment.

Doing a lot feels like the most natural response to the passing time but I’m not sure it’s the best one. It suggests doing as much as possible so we feel like we didn’t waste the time. That makes us to focus on doing rather than on being and makes us to jump from one activity to the other without reflecting on the experience.

4. We treasure this life too much

A bit like with our mortality, we think that this life is the most precious thing we’ve got. That is the case if you don’t believe in far better eternity spent with God who made you.

Listen to Sean’s preaching I mentioned earlier and compare your life now to the eternity without illness, sadness, tears, saying good bye’s, but also without creation being under threat.

When you look at life from that perspective all your current worries will fade away. This life is beautiful and worth living to the fullest with God’s guidance, but the best is yet to come and that will really help you to counter the nostalgia of passing time. Celebrate what you’ve achieved, celebrate what you’ve learnt, enjoy every moment (not the doing) of life, relax and let God do the rest. After all:

We can make our plans, but the LORD determines our steps.
Proverbs 16:9 NLT

For those who find me find life
and receive favour from the Lord.
Proverbs 8:35

Good Good Life